Ron's Plan
by Sabe Arden
Summary: Ron tries to come up with a plan to get Hermione back. Of course, knowing Ron, it may not turn out the way he wanted... RWHG
1. Plan A

A/N: This is the first fanfiction that I have written in a while, and I hope it's better than the other two. Reviews are very welcome.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, all characters and part of the plot belong to J.K. Rowling. You know the drill.

Now, on with the show! Er.. I mean chapter. Sorry.

* * *

Ron was a in a strange predicament. He found himself in a relationship with a girl who meant absolutely nothing to him and he couldn't get out of it. He had only done it in the first place to show the only girl that _did_ mean something to him that he had an emotional range larger than a teaspoon. A tablespoon, maybe. It wasn't really having the effect he wanted.

Ron decided that the best option at the moment was to flat-out tell Hermione that he loved her.

Of course, Ron's logic wasn't very good, unless he wasn't playing chess. And as far as he could tell, this wasn't anything like chess.

* * *

"Hermione!" Ron called, quickly catching up to her with his long strides. Hermione heard him, alright, but she pretended she hadn't and made a detour into the nearest girl's bathroom.

That was when Ron remembered that Hermione wasn't speaking to him.

Time for a Plan B.

* * *

A week later, Ron woke up in the hospital wing, feeling confused and a little bit sick. For a little while he let the morning sun filter through his eyelids, until he remembered the love potion-filled Chocolate Cauldrons and the poison. _So much for a happy birthday,_ he thought.

The first thing he noticed when he opened his eyes was Hermione sitting faithfully by his bedside, her eyes swollen and bloodshot. She jumped a little when she saw that he had woken up.

"How are you feeling?" she asked concernedly. Ron was pleasantly surprised to see that she was speaking to him again.

Ron envisioned a dramatic scene in which Hermione swore undying love to him and Lavender decided to dump him because he preferred Romilda Vane.

Harry walked into the hospital wing at this point, and Ron hopefully asked him if the latter part of his daydream was true, just in case. (He didn't dare asking if Hermione had sworn undying love to him, as this would be very awkward) Harry answered no, and Hermione seemed rather pleased that Ron had asked that particular question.

* * *

Now that Hermione was speaking to him again, all Ron had to do was break up with Lavender and tell Hermione about his feelings for her. Unfortunately, both of these tasks were proving a little harder than he had thought.

Ron was still in the hospital wing, and Hermione was attempting to help him with his Transfiguration homework. Ron wasn't really paying attention. He was too busy daydreaming about the person attempting to help him. Hermione caught the strangely unfocused look on his face and brought him back to reality. His ears turned even redder than his hair, and that's saying something. At that moment came a diversion in the form of Lavender Brown, and Ron quickly put Plan B into action by falling back against his pillow and pretending to snore loudly. Hermione quickly put Ron's books away.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Lavender asked Hermione suspiciously.

"Oh, you know, I was just helping Ron with his homework, and he fell asleep," Hermione said innocently. "I guess he thinks Transfiguration is boring. He's still really ill, he needs his rest," she added, just to make sure Lavender wouldn't try to wake him up. Satisfied with her work, Hermione let the hospital wing, leaving Lavender with the "sleeping" Ron. Lavender peered at Ron for a minute, to make sure he really was asleep, and left with a huff, surely off to pester Harry about Ron's feelings.

Ron couldn't believe Lavender actually fell for it. Then again, Lavender wasn't too bright. Not at all like Hermione… Ron wondered how he always managed to find a way to bring every subject back to her. He once again found himself thinking of her deep chocolate-brown eyes, the was she always chewed on her lip when she was working, how she always made sure he ate his vegetables, and how she told him off for telling jokes in class, but got a funny little smile on her face anyway, as if she was trying not to laugh.


	2. Plan B and Plan C

_A/N: Another chapter up! This fic was originally supposed to bea one-shot, but it turned out a little longer than expected. Please tell me what you think! It's pretty short, but... um... oh well. I had a little bit of trouble coming up with a plan C, let me tell you, but that won't happen again. I have planned out several plans in advance. Now I have up to plan E or F, so it won't take nearly so long to update next time. On with the chapter! Hey, I wonder if people are less likely to review if the author seems desperate for reviews... that would be an interesting study to conduct..._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any related characters, titles, etc. In the olden days, they said &c., instead of etc. Sorry, I just thought that was interesting._

* * *

Chapter 2

Ron's temporary means of avoiding Lavender was working fairly well, until Harry just _had _to go and tell him to stop. _So much for Plan B,_ Ron thought dryly. Now he would have to come up with a Plan C… Ron's brain was getting tired. If he kept this up any longer he would soon be done with all 26 letters and into Roman numerals. Ron wondered how old he would be then. Seventy-four, maybe?

It was the day of the big Gryffindor-Hufflepuff Quidditch game, and Madam Pomfrey would not even let him watch the game, let alone play. Harry was forced to let McLaggen play Keeper instead of Ron, a fact that Ron was very nervous about. He asked Harry countless times whether or not McLaggen was a decent Keeper, and every time Harry's response was that he kept giving everyone tips on how to play Quidditch, (as if they didn't know already!) and it was driving the whole team mad.

_Why isn't he giving me a straight answer? _Ron thought frantically. _What if that git McLaggen is better than me? What if this is all an evil plot set up by the Death Eaters to get me kicked off the team? What if..._ Another voice in the back of Ron's head spoke up. _Relax,_ it said. _You sound like Hermione before a test. _Ron sighed. _Hermione, _he thought. _I love her even more than Quidditch, and that's saying something. _Ron bowed his head in a moment of silence, inwardly apologizing to the noble and ancient sport of Quidditch, although he felt no regret.

"Ron? Ron!" Harry said, waving his hand in front of Ron's face. "What are you doing?"

"Oh," Ron said, quickly casting about for an excuse. "I was…er…in mourning. Yeah, that's it, in mourning. It was exactly ten years ago to this day that my poor pet puffeskein was killed by Fred in Bludger practice."

"Right," said Harry suspiciously. "See you after the match."

The Quidditch match proved very amusing to Ron, as he could hear Luna's commentary from his bed. She kept commenting on things completely unrelated to Quidditch and insisted that Zacharias Smith was suffering from "Loser's Lurgy." Ron often laughed out loud, earning disapproving glances from Madam Pomfrey. How he wished he was down in the stands with Hermione, instead of sitting here with a very irritated and unpleasant Madam Pomfrey. He loved Hermione's laugh, it had a sort of ring to it…

Seriously, Ron really needed to get that girl out of his mind. And since that didn't seem like a possibility, now or ever, he decided to compose a Plan C. Yes, Sir Ronald Bilius Weasley would win the fair maiden Hermione's heart if it was the last thing he did!

_You've been talking to Sir Cadogan's portrait again, haven't you? _the voice in the back of his head commented wryly. Ron would have thrown a shoe at it if it was a solid human being. His sour look caused Madam Pomfrey to stuff a large block of chocolate into his mouth. Ron choked.

"Nice of you to drop in," Ron said as Harry woke up in the hospital wing with a cracked skull, courtesy of Cormac McLaggen. Ron had just finished his masterpiece, Plan C, which covered several rolls of parchment. Plan C was a highly complicated scheme involving a Time Turner, two Blast-Ended Skrewts, and Cornelius Fudge's lime-green bowler hat. Ah, the things people do for love…


	3. Plan D

_A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update! I was really, really busy for a while, and then my computer sort of broke. I'll make sure to post the next chapter as soon as I can. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. As usual_

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Chapter 3: Plan D

It wasn't long before Ron realized that all of the Ministry's Time-Turners had been smashed during their adventure in the Department of Mysteries last summer, the Blast-Ended Skrewts had killed each other, and he had absolutely no idea how to get a hold of Cornelius Fudge's lime-green bowler hat. _Too bad,_ thought Ron. _It was a good plan._

Ron was also beginning to notice that Lavender was very touchy on the subject of Hermione. She became highly suspicious whenever Hermione was anywhere within a 5-foot radius of Ron, and she gave Hermione dirty looks whenever she had the chance. Ron was angered by this cold treatment of his best friend, but he couldn't help a small bubble of hope growing in his chest. _Maybe,_ he thought, _since Lavender is so suspicious of Hermione, maybe this means I have a chance with her, and Lavender knows it!_ This made Ron very happy, and with that thought he formed a Plan D.

* * *

Ron and Hermione waved goodbye to Harry as they set off for their extra Apparition lesson in Hogsmeade, which Harry could not participate in because he was too young. Together they set off down the path towards Hogsmeade. 

"Won-Won! Wait!" Lavender called, trying to catch up with Ron.

"Oh no, not again," Ron groaned. "Quick, hide me." Hermione suddenly began to laugh.

"Ron, you are _so _hilarious!" Hermione said, laughing some more.

"Wait, _what's_ funny?" Ron asked, perplexed.

"Just play along," Hermione muttered, giving him a sharp nudge in the ribs.

"Won-Won, why aren't you wearing your necklace?" Lavender pouted, trying harder to catch up. Ron and Hermione sped up a little. Hermione leaned in a little closer to talk, and Ron could feel his ears turning red as he realized the close proximity of their faces.

"What necklace is she talking about?" Hermione inquired, sounding amused. A small smile played on her lips.

"Oh. That," Ron grumbled. His ears reddened even more. "Lavender gave me a necklace for Christmas."

"What does this necklace look like?" Hermione asked, thoroughly enjoying tormenting him.

"It says 'My Sweetheart,'" Ron muttered. Hermione burst out laughing, a real laugh this time. "It's not funny," Ron snapped. "I mean, does she honestly think I'd wear something like that?" Hermione only laughed harder. Lavender looked furious.

They continued to laugh and joke all the way to Hogsmeade. Lavender finally gave up trying to catch up with them and hung back with Parvati.

"Yes! She's finally gone!" Ron exclaimed. Plan D appeared to be working, at least for the moment.Plan D was to follow Hermione everywhere she went, so eventually Lavender would become angry at him for ignoring her and dump him. In Ron's opinion, it was foolproof. Then again, so were plans A, B, and C, but he had a good feeling about Plan D.

"Ron, be quiet, what if she hears you?" Hermione hissed.

"I don't care if she hears me. I should just let her hear me so she'll ditch me!"

"Why don't you just _tell_ her if you don't want to go out with her anymore?"

"I can't just _tell_ her. I've tried that, she keeps changing the subject. She won't let me tell her," said Ron. But maybe, Ron thought, this was just Plan D backfiring on him. Maybe she was getting so jealous that she did not dump him, but only held on tighter. _So much for foolproof..._

"Ron, it's not that hard," Hermione said, annoyed. "All you have to say is, 'Lavender, I don't want to go out with you anymore.' It's just ten words."

"Hermione, I'm serious, I've tried that, but she changes the subject–"

At that point they were rudely interrupted by the Appariton instructor, who insisted that they all begin practicing now.

Try as he might, Ron just couldn't get the hang of Appariton. Hermione, on the other hand, was perfect every time.

"Remember the three D's!" the Apparition instructor cried for what seemed like the twentieth time. "Destination, Determination, and Deliberation!"

Ron grumbled a little, calling the Apparition instructor some things that Hermione certainly would have scolded him for, if she had not once again Disapparated to her destination, which this time was just outside Scrivenshaft's. Ron, now with no one to talk to, was getting bored. He once again found himself daydreaming. The Apparition instructor scolded him, and reminded him of his destination. Eager to get away from Lavender, who looked like she was coming his way, Ron thought he might at least give it a try.

Before he knew it, Ron found himself standing right next to the subject of his daydreams.

"How did I get here?" Ron asked blankly, not comprehending the situation at first.

"Ron, you did it! You Apparated!" Hermione said excitedly, giving him a hug. Ron felt this was ample reward for finally achieving Apparition, even if he _had_ overshot it a little bit. Together they set off back toward the starting point, savoring the precious time until Ron had to see Lavender again. By the time they got back, most of the students were nowhere to be found.

"Where is everyone?" Hermione asked.

"I dunno, they were here when I left," Ron said.

"Do you think they went back to Hogwarts without us?" Hermione said, panicking slightly. Ron had a sudden idea.

"Hey, Hermione, want to go for a drink in the Three Broomsticks?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Ronald Bilius Weasley, that would be against the rules," she said in a very good impression of Professor McGonagall. Ron winced at the use of his full name, but persevered.

"No one's going to notice we're gone."

"Honestly, Ron, I don't know where you come up with these mad ideas-"

"It's not that mad. Please, just this once?"

Hermione looked around to make sure no one was watching.

"All right, but if we get in trouble I swear you will never again see the light of day-"

"Come on!" Ron interrupted, dragging her off in the direction of the Three Broomsticks.

"Hey,I wasn't finished yet!" Hermione said indignantly. Ron opened the door and ushered her inside.

"After you," he said politely. Hermione was surprised, for this gesture was very unlike him, but looked pleased all the same. To their surprise, the instructor and the rest of the class were already there.

"Won-Won, over here!" Lavender called from her table, but Ron pretended not to hear and sat down at a table on the other side of the room with Hermione. Lavender, he noticed, looked very upset about this.

"I thnk you're hurting her feelings, Ron" Hermione commented lightly, not looking the least bit concerned or sympathetic. Ron just shrugged guiltily. Meanwhile, the Apparition instructor, Wilkie Twycross, was going on and on about how perfect Hermione was to anybody who would listen, which, at the moment, was nobody.

"Excellent, really excellent. Mastered the three D's, you know."

Ron mouthed Twycross's words behind his back just as he said, "Destination, determination, and deliberation."

Hermione was doubled over in silent laughter. Ron grinned, pleased with himself, and continued to mime.

* * *

Meanwhile, Parvati nodded vaguely and pretended to listen while Lavender went on and on in an angry rant about Hermione.

"She stole my boyfriend! She _stole_ my _boyfriend_! How could she do that? She's not even that pretty! I mean, we're supposed to be friends, and then she goes and steals my boyfriend!" She contined to glare over in Hermione's direction, as if the power of her gaze could make Hermione explode. It didn't. Parvati sighed exasperatedly.

"First of all, I don't know what you mean by 'supposed to be friends.' Hermione was never your friend. You've hated her ever since she got a famous date for the Yule Ball and you didn't, which I think is the stupidest reason I've ever heard. Second, she didn't _actually_ steal your boyfriend. They're just friends. Ron can hang out with his friend if he wants to, and if you have a problem with that, talk to him about it."

Lavender gave a cold, humorless laugh. "_Sure,_they're friends. What sort of friend stops talking to another friend when that friend gets a new girlfriend! Don't tell me you're not sensing hidden feelings here!"

"Even if she did like Ron, _which she doesn't_," Parvati said wearily, adding the last bit to stop Lavender's death glare, "she hasn't actually done anything about it, which means she hasn't technically stolen your boyfriend. For her to have actually stolen your boyfriend, he would have to be, like, cheating on you with her, or something like that. Clause twenty-seven of the Code, remember?" Parvati smiled smugly, knowing she had won, for whatever the Code said was law. Lavender grumbled for a little while, before continuing her rant undeterred.

"...all I want is for him to clue me in on the status of our relationship, but _noooo..._"

"He would if you'd just _let_ him," Parvati muttered, but Lavender did not seem to have noticed. Lavender then got up from her seat without warning and sidled over to Ron's table, laughing hysterically at his horrible joke.

"Lavender, I haven't given the punchline yet," Ron pointed out, looking perplexed.

"Oh. Right." Lavender mumbled. Parvati, sitting a couple of tables away, rolled her eyes and shook her head sadly, earning herself another one of Lavender's death glares, an art she had perfected on Hermione.

"Was _that_ the punchline?" Lavender whispered to Madam Rosmerta once Ron finished his joke. Madam Rosmerta nodded vaguely and retreated to the back room. Lavender began her hysterical laughter again, and Parvati repeatedly banged her head on the table.

* * *

_That was a pretty long chapter. It was for me at least, but I guess most people would call it short. Oh well. Review! Do you ever find it creepy when people say that the purple button is calling you? Woooo... the button calls your name... hear it? It says "-insert name here-! Click me!"_


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